discontinuing Soberlink?
The day I knew would come has come. Should I fight?
Background: I left STBXAH in November 2015 after 20 years of his increasingly drunken, violent, intolerable, behavior. He insisted on split custody.
In Mach 2016 I filed a court motion to get him to do Soberlink monitoring when he has our kids (now 10, 14, 16), to which a co-parenting counselor and I got him to agree given the evidence presented about his drinking and danger to the kids.
Now he has filed to discontinue the monitoring, arguing that passing the tests for 10 months shows he no longer has a problem with alcohol.
In his words, he did drink excessively at times in the past, but not anymore.
I think those 10 months of passed tests show that he has figured out how to game the system (easier now that he tests only 2x/day), and to wait until his "off" weeks to drink heavily. To his credit, however, he has managed to change the pattern he had when I was with him, of not being able to stop drinking once he started and of drinking all night long. But, again, I think it's because of Soberlink that he has managed to moderate when necessary.
So, now what? I'm meeting with my attorney tomorrow to discuss my options, but wondered if others have insight or advice.
I am getting our children into therapy so they will have another adult to talk to in case they don't feel comfortable talking to me about their dad, to whom they are very loyal.
There doesn't seem to be an Alateen meeting in our area.
I'm grateful that our children are old enough to have cell phones and contact me or call 911 if necessary, yet I hate the thought of turning them into codependents, having to monitor their parent's behavior.
STBXAH claims my insistence on continued monitoring means I'm just trying to control him. Nope. I'm just trying to make sure our children are safe.
Experience or suggestions?