Back to Patrick Carnes...according to him overcontrol and compulsive behaviour are just flipsides of the same coin. The anorexic vs the bulimic. The alcoholic who does nothing except not drink. Or someone who tries to completely suppress or deny their sexuality or sexual feelings out of fear for it being out of control.
So yep...I agree, don't try to deny that part of yourself.
Denying feelings doesn't work. Sitting with feelings is painful. Sitting with feelings and not acting them out is very painful. Giving in and following old patterns often leads to the same old shame cycle.
So from the above options...I would go with sitting with feelings, learning and growing.
And I would reiterate all the points above about sublimation, and exploring other options like developing the capacity for true intimacy in platonic friendships.
P