Originally Posted by
tomsteve 
something common with quite a few alcoholics when we have a resentment towards someone:
"ill show you by hurting myself."
are you trying to control her?
No not at all.
But in her mind she sees me changing to a sober lifestyle as an indication that I will eventually find another women or just leave her. She even said that we met in a bar and always drank together and that is our life - and I am the one messing it up by sobering up.