I am always stressed when I'm in a sober period . After 2 years sober I was a drinker again for 1.5 years and now I'm 4 months sober again...and one thing is for certain, I am constantly not at ease when I'm in a sober period. I'm just pissy. Even when I'm not unhappy or upset about something, I still feel this cloud over me - I feel like I'm in constant turmoil. I do not feel this way when I am drinking, I feel so much more at ease with everything when I'm drinking, except not being able to stay drinking ALL the time...and that is a problem because I can't be drinking all the time...
Anyhow, I just wish I could relax and not be sooo uptight ALL the time. Sometimes I wonder which is worse for my kids - me just being a raging bitch all the time or being a drunk... I'm just a mess.
