Dreaming...I understand what you are saying.....y our dilemma..
I am not saying to say nothing to him!! I am suggesting to make your decisions and lay it out on the table for him to see. Put all the cards on the table....
I am not a lawyer. I do know that you can't just evict him from his own home..
But, I do understand that there are ways to legally stay in the house with the kids...with him required to vacate the house, by legal means through a divorce lawyer.....
There is a website....
www.WomansDivorce.com.....that is very educational about all areas of divorce. It is listed by state, and it has links to other resources, as well. It won't take the place of your own lawyer...which you need...but, it will help you understand a lot and will prepare you with what questions to ask a lawyer.....
(By the way...you don't have to tell him what to DO...he has a brain in his head...he can think. He has a counselor in the outpatient program who can help him with what to "do", also. He is an adult...and, trying to be his "mother" will break you back...break...your...back......