Algorithm

I didn't set out to be an alcoholic, and I also crossed some invisible line, without intending to. My problem is that at some point after crossing that invisible line, I knew on some level, that I had to knock it off, and yet, I did not. Years wasted knowing full well that something was not quite right, but avoiding doing the obvious, and eventually paying the price.

I can forgive myself for crossing that invisible line, since it was an accident, but I am not sure that all those wasted years after I suspected something was off were 'denial', either. I tried to control it, and to be careful, but deep down, I knew the drink would have to go eventually. A couple people in my life even told me, do not drink, but I kept drinking.

We see this here on SR all the time. People come, they post about their big problems with alcohol, and yet they keep drinking. Sometimes for years, posting in between binges, or even during binges. They are told repeatedly to knock it off, so they know what is what. I suspect they are still looking for a way to keep drinking, only without paying the price.

The same phenomenon exists with recovery group meetings.

What to make of that? That they are 'in denial'?

I sometimes ask people "is it right or wrong for you to drink?"

They don't usually want to answer, but I know that if they are on SR, that they should at least consider the question. If they are here, they know, or at least strongly suspect, that they shouldn't be drinking, but don't necessarily see anything wrong with it.

That's a big problem, if one has big problems from drinking.