Sorry you have to work with a violent person. Leaving is not being cold to him, it is taking care of yourself. When he drinks he puts you in harms way and that is not fair to you.
Relapses are hard to take, they can really try your patience. I was reading something recently that said to think of relapses like any chronic disease. Diabetics have times when their disease gets out of control and so do alcoholics. But if he's violent, you don't have to accept it.
I wish you peace and serenity. Please keep coming back. We are here for you.