I don't know who, but my first time around here someone said this and it struck a note with me:
" In the end, it always comes down to
whether you feel the need to defend your position or not. Taking a defensive stance points to the fact that a) you feel under siege and b) you might not be so sure about whether or not you yourself actually feel that what you are doing is right. For example. I've never had to defend a walk in the forest, listening to birds and enjoying the fresh air. I've had to defend having a fourth hamburger in one sitting. I've never had to defend helping my grandmother. I've had to defend not showing up when I promised, because I was drunk or hungover.
So if you feel like defending your position, take a step back and try figuring out what the real problem is."
Maybe not to any extreme, but it seems like you're trying to defend what a good idea it would be to keep drinking. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you came here so we can talk you all out of it
but if you had to come on here maybe deep down you know it's not too late?