Hi Lill!!
Are you getting any support for you? Have you given Al-anon a try?
Relapses are tough, and pretty much inevitable. But they don't have to mean the end of the world. Your husband is battling a very horrible and selfish disease, and as I'm sure you know, there's nothing you can do to control it or cure it for him. You mentioned supporting him, that's a good start... but remember that support means to love and accept him, and let him be responsible for himself AND his drinking problem.
I know when my husband relapses, it's a very nice reminder to me that I HAVE to keep taking care of me. I don't know how bad the drinking will get, but I know that I can't stop it, and I'm not going to get in the way of it anymore. So I focus back on me, and making sure that my needs are being met. For instance, for my husband, a relapse typically means a 3-4 day bender in which he draws insane amounts of money out of the checking account. So taking care of me means, making sure that I limit the amount of money that I (not US, just ME!) lose to the drinking. I have a seperate checking account that he doesn't have access to. It protects me from ever being flat out broke and not having money for food, gas, etc. Taking care of me also means making sure that I have hobbies to do just for me, friends to call on to support me. No more sitting at home on my pity pot feeling bad for the situation I'm in.
Hope some of this can help... you're not alone, we're always here to listen!
:-) Shannon