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You've received a lot of sound advice and support from others already, but no one has taken up the fact that your wife originally gave you an ultimatum -- the drinking, or the family -- and you reneged on your promise. That is, you didn't drink because she left. She left because you drank, in that order.

You had enough sense to try and stop drinking after you started up again, but apparently forgot about the original ultimatum, and kept on drinking and detoxing, as if that ultimatum had vanished, simply because your wife supported you in your first detox attempt. You recently posted that she loved you unconditionally, which means that you took that support for granted.

See this post about unconditional support -

For your wife to watch two detoxes in just as many weeks is simply one too many. Your doctor apparently agrees. I don't know what happened to that outpatient treatment you signed up for recently, but either you are not going, or 'getting help' simply isn't good enough, and you now have a very serious credibility problem with your wife.

I don't know your wife, of course, but judging from what you wrote here and elsewhere, I would wager that she doesn't want to have to deal with the uncertainty of another child/patient in the house "relapsing" all the time, and wants you to support her and the family instead, as husbands and fathers should naturally want to do.

It doesn't sound like she divorced you yet, so it's possible that you can salvage the situation, if you stop playing the role of "patient" in the family, with your wife playing the role of nurse, and adopt the role of father instead. I agree with Scott's assessment that this probably isn't just a bad habit, since it is completely clouding your views, and your judgement.

I also agree with the grenade analogy. You can either fight for yourself, and for your family, or let the grenade explode, and eventually destroy everything. I know this probably stings, but this is not "tough love" or "denial busting" on my part. Sometimes we need to be reminded that we are not merely victims of circumstances, and that we do have some responsibility.

If you really cannot imagine a life without your wife and family, then prove it, and fight for them. Stand up, and get that one single idiocy - drinking - completely out of your life. It may take your wife some time to trust you again, but letting her know that you are finally done with drinking, as you originally promised, and are willing to support her, would be a good start.