I've been following your posts the last several weeks. This can either be grenade that you allow to destroy things you learned from your recent sobriety, or you can use it as a stepping stone (as hard as it may be to see right now) towards a better, happier, and sober life. Make that choice. Don't beat yourself up about the drinking. You are not a failure. Just learn from this. Whatever happens between you and your wife has a much better chance of being favorable and/or genuine if you are sober. You also must do this for you and your relationship with your kids, not just for her. My prayers are with you. Start strong again with 24 hours.