Welcome back Alaska Girl!!
Your post sounds like you are done this time, I was where you are now a little over a year ago. I joined SR in 2012, and spent from 2012-2015 varying between periods of sobriety, and failed attempts at moderation. On NYE 2015 I decide I was done, I had enough of feeling the way I was. 2016 was the first year since I was 15 that I did not have a single sip of alcohol.
The past year has had some tough days/situations, but I did not allow alcohol to be a choice ever. SR was my biggest support. I read and posted here daily, two threads I found very helpful were the January 2016 class and the 24 hour recovery.
You can do this, and I promise you sobriety is so worth it!!!
❤️Delilah