BrickbyBrick83

Thanks for this - you're spot on. I do compare myself to my dad, and my drinking does seem almost harmless compared to what he was doing! I need to get over that, as it'll be what gets me back drinking again - and if I continue down the path, I am 100% sure that I will be in the same spot as my dad in ten years or whenever. It's a terrifying prospect.

I don't talk about my mum a lot, but her habits are actually almost identical to what mine have been. She has drunk at least two bottles of wine nightly for years. She lives in the UK but when I do see her, she is barely ever sober. I tried to help her early on, when I was younger. I even wrote her a letter once, but it made her so angry! It makes me so very sad. She is a beautiful person - funny, far more intelligent than she thinks she is, and stunning on the outside as well. But I only ever get snippets of who she actually is these days. She is irrational, over the top, and often plain nasty when she's drinking.

I have fallen out with my eldest brother over it. He thinks I should have done more about it when I was living in the UK. He doesn't understand that I did try everything. My dad even took her to an AA meeting once (they're divorced now, but still talk - sometimes), and she walked out as she, "isn't like those people." Brother hasn't spoken to me in years because of my failing to "fix" our mother. Family! Sometimes I think I'd be better off without them!

It does frustrate me that I have ended up doing exactly the same as my mum - completely identical habits! Hopefully, my saving grace will be my inward thinking. I have also been very self-aware, self-analytical, and interested in how the brain works etc. I don't think my mum has that.