Worse after rehab....
Long story tried to be made short...please admin place this post in the right spot if I didn't.
I've struggled with alcoholism for roughly 7 years, started partying hard on weekends and ended up drinking pretty much every night by the age of 24/25. I'm currently 26.
Went into a treatment facility on October 10th, had a wonderful month of sobriety and met some great people. Got out of treatment and slipped up here and there immediately. One of person I met in treatment I started talking to over Facebook (treatment facility allowed internet in the evening) and once he finished treatment roughly 2 weeks later we started hanging out.
Once he was out, I ended up staying over for 3-4 nights at a time, me using his place to escape and drink at (since I am back with my parents), completely forgetting everything I learned in treatment. He would try to persuade me not to drink but I still did it. Soon enough he started drinking with me (even though his main problem was meth and he hadn't drank in years).
This has been a constant cycle of staying over at his place for a few days then coming home for a few, repeat. Parents finally decided I have to be out by Jan. 15th. I'm currently trying to get into a sober living facility but screwed it up once because I didn't show for assessment.
On the other side of things, I've grown feelings for this person. He has 5 kids, has custody of 3. And is 10 years older than me. He's an ex gang member and I have a feeling he's been lying to me about what he's been doing but he flat out denies. Swears he loves me more than I know, would protect me from anything, and will be there if I need a place to live when I'm kicked out on the 15th. Besides that, he's bought me plenty clothing trying to spoil me because he wants me to have "anything I need".
I'm so confused right now and feel like I just addicted myself to someone I normally wouldn't go for, and debated staying with him instead of going to sober living. We've both agreed to stop using but I feel like I keep creating problems for myself.
I'm sorry if this post is out of rules or whatever, but had to get this off my chest.
Thanks in advance to any replies