For me, the only thing that worked was to say once and for all "I will never drink again." I had tried for years to moderate. I would abstain for several days at a time. I would say I'd drink only on weekends, or on "special occasions." It never worked for long. As long as I left that door open, even a tiny crack, I was controlled by my obsession. I'd find myself thinking almost non-stop about when I could drink again. Looking forward to it, and dreading it at the same time. I hated myself - because I felt I was failing at moderation - that I had no self-control. It was ruining my life, bit by bit. So - I drew a line in the sand, got myself checked into treatment, started going to AA, found support here, and became accountable to several people in real life. I found it liberating to surrender to the fact that I can never drink normally, and that the only answer was to never drink again. No - I did not ever plan a relapse once I decided enough was enough. That seems like playing with fire to me. The obsession to drink is gone. It didn't happen right away. It's been a gradual process. Give it a try. The more sober time you get, the easier it gets. If it seems too big to say "never" just go one day at a time. You can do it. If I did it, you can, too.