Originally Posted by
BrendaChenowyth 
Certainly, all of that goes without saying..
It's not that about finding the right recovery path or getting to a certain point fast.
As an addict, while I was under the influence, I did a lot of things I'm not proud of, and while I want to take 100% accountability, is this realistic and fair?
In other words, was I in control of my behavior?
A better question is what do you think?
For me the answer is yes. I picked up the bottle. Nobody else.
When I was new in sobriety it began to dawn on me how much of a mess I had made of my life.
But I found solace in this... on one side of the coin I wish I had gotten sober younger and perhaps life might have been different. On the other side because of my drinking history I under no illusion I can drink responsibly.
I'm 59 years old and skipped the middle life crisis some men talk about. True I wasted the prime years of my life but for the last twenty I've been busy.
Last thing... nobody is harder on me than myself. I have to avoid self-flagellation. Imo, the past never really goes away but you learn over time to move on. You learn to deal with what is happening today.