Originally Posted by
BrendaChenowyth 
As an addict, while I was under the influence, I did a lot of things I'm not proud of, and while I want to take 100% accountability, is this realistic and fair?
In other words, was I in control of my behavior?
It's not realistic or fair. And in reality fairness has nothing to do with it because life just isn't fair.
As to whether you were in control or not, it's irrelevant. It happened and you cannot change it, so you have to accept it and forgive yourself. And that is exactly what therapy/recovery helps you with.