Ohhh, you are Normal all right, based on my experience. I drank for 40 years. It took quite a while to get to any resemblance of 'actual normal'. Just remember, no matter how bad it may seem, it can only get worse if you try drowning it out with more drinking ... way worse, which I tried numerous times thru a loooong period of struggling ... face in the pavement struggling.
RDBplus3 ... Now Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I Know U can B 2
PS - Read the Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Underline everything that stands out, then ... re-read it, and underline anything else that stands out, then, .....