It's fantastic to hear about your sobriety, Lola. Congratulations!
I hear in your post that some things are yet missing for you, things that would help, I think. You identified your BP is yet to be made and it is perceptive of you to see that as a priority. You might consider that this means that you aren't yet recognizing your Beast, as this fear and reluctance are AV writ large.
Make that Big Plan, full of confidence in your success. Recognize all doubt and fear as enabling thoughts, and see that they are no longer 'you'. Use your BP to help you identify your AV.
I hope you find this helpful. You got this, I know it. Onward!