Thank you for your post. It's exactly how I feel.
Once you look at the things the way they really are, it hurts, because it seems you lived in a lie and you might loose people who used to be close.
Once I looked at my relationship with my ex for what was it, I looked at my family and it's incredibly painful. I always tried to pretend how great we are but I can't do it anymore.
Have you lost some friends or family members because of it? I don't know how to deal with some of this pain.