Just caught up on this thread, A -
I had a real chuckle when D mentioned being 'a bit vanilla', as I'm the same (despite fancying myself as a non-conformist in heaps of other ways). Mind you, though, I can / have been obsessive enough about just one person at a time that I honestly wouldn't have had the strength to manage poly-by-agreement situations! [and I certainly did NOT cope with poly-by-non-agreement situations with my exes - who clearly felt differently.......it's all a long time ago, anyway. Living like a nun suits me better now :-)]
I applaud you for having such insight - as so often you've demonstrated here - and seeing what needed to be done (i.e. tell your hub) and then Just Doing It. 'Do No Harm', like D said, is the ancient tried and true baseline it's always been.
Happy times for you in 2017, dear A.
PS the time with the sea lions sounds wonderful - thanks for the beautiful pic of one of them. I don't 'get' tattoos, in either sense, myself, but glad you've given yourself a sea lion to exemplify the qualities you've seen in them.