There's no such thing as being a failure at AA. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Nothing else. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. It's perfectly fine to go and just listen. Lots of ppl do that. But different AA groups have different dynamics. Some are very structured and some are loose. Go to different meetings if you can and try to find one that suits you. I have about 4 different meetings that I go to on a regular basis here in MN. I like some better than others, but I always find that if I check my ego at the door and keep an open mind, I can always get something out of it. But I do very much agree with the other posters here that suggest maybe finding specific help with your anxiety. I wish you all the best!