Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
OK, well, then you are stepping OFF the merry-go-round. It may take some time to FEEL as free as you actually are, but start working on reminding yourself of it. It's very easy for parents to take on their kids' pain, but a little healthy detachment from adult kids is necessary, too. Part of learning to be an adult is to process those emotional bumps and bruises, just like we did when we were learning to walk.
Work on finding some great, self-fulfilling things to put into your life. It will get better!
It is hard to feel free. The little niggling voice of "Should I do something?" comes back from time to time but so far I have pushed it aside and not acted on it. I've 2 trips to Europe to focus on in 2017 and I need to decide how to make some friends here. I have one and the boys don't want to move. Tho both would like to be nearer their siblings, they don't like the town they live in and it would not solve anything for me if they did. I need a bigger place tho as I sleep in the living room. My boyfriend goes back to Europe on the 4th and then I will be totally alone again. It's hard. I am not good in winter anyway. I never have been. I feel like I got more fragile as time went on not stronger but I expect it is all part of the process.