I too have had this. I tried September 2015 to go to aa then again in March 2016 and September 2016. At first it was ok then I felt the pressure to speak up, find a sponsor, read the old fashioned big book which was really getting to me slowly as I just didn't feel comfortable doing those thing (still feel loads of more modern and interesting books out there)
I think my biggest problem was that the men were often creepy and the women distant and damaged often so not very welcoming. It contradicted with the idea of "everyone supporting everyone" and getting phone numbers etc I just didn't feel I was getting anywhere.other women gave me their number but i was clearly shy and embarrassed and confused by the notion of being an "alcoholic". I never heard from them outside meetings or if I stopped going for a bit. It felt really selfish and fake.
I think people with anxiety and new in to aa need more direct help than they get from aa in U.K. Maybe it's different in us?
Originally Posted by
rubythrill 
First of all I can't believe it's been 75 days since I've had a drink. I did the first 30 days in 12 step based residential treatment program.
It was through this program that I was introduced to AA and the 12 steps & traditions. I desperately want to stay sober and work the program "the right way" but I am petrified with anxiety to barely utter a "hello" when someone says hi to me in meetings, let alone even attempting to find a sponsor. I figure by at least not drinking and making it through the door it is better than not going at all and getting drunk but I feel like I should be doing more and the anxiety of this is causing me daily suffering. For some reason being around all these people much older than me and lots of sober time is paralyzing me with anxiety.
It's like before I stopped drinking I was miserable with having an unmanageable life, but now I'm miserable with thinking I'm not doing enough to be proactive in my recovery... In many ways I am feeling like a failure at AA. Is this normal?