Dee,
That's one of those 'you just stumped me for a minute' questions. But no, I know all the whys / whats, in terms of my own alcoholism. There are multiples of those, the patterns of which I've come to identify and understand these past few years of sobriety, relapse, sobriety, relapse, sobriety....
I'd rarely ask this, as you know, but just right now - especially as others are engaged in their own struggles, heightened by this damn Christmas / NY week....I'd prefer not to go into all in detail. The shortest answer is: I picked in mid-November (i.e. the 'first drink'), managed it ok for quite some time...and of course that sets off the habitual brain-turning toward alcohol more regularly.
And to be really honest: it's just too damn hard to stop right now - discombobulating and exhausting heat, stuck indoors from same, poor appetite from same, and my usual GP and psych times are not available as they're off on leave.