Grateful and still seeking
It's been a while since I have been here. I am grateful that my alcoholic partner has been sober and in recovery for almost 7 years. The pain that brought me to this site was replaced with wisdom and strength and I know that we are the lucky ones. We have a wonderful, healthy and strong relationship.
So...I am here today because my 25 year old son seems to have a drinking problem. This is not something new, but of course it is progressing to the point of no denial on my part. He was too hungover on Thanksgiving to really participate although physically present, and showed up drunk on Christmas Eve too. He is charming, he has a great job, it all looks so very good on the outside. But, I see what I see that perhaps others cannot just yet. Oh, I have learned my lessons well, and know that I cannot do anything about it. Last night, my daughter, and my partner and I attended an Al-anon meeting. Good move for all of us.
My question is...can or should I mention the elephant in the room to my son? Can I say that I (we) have been disappointed in his behavior? I know it won't change anything, but I am a little fuzzy on this...do I just act like it's all ok and perfectly acceptable? I am allowed to set some boundaries here, right? I don't want all of our family gatherings to be less enjoyable for everyone else because of him.
Help! This is harder because it is my child, but easier because I don't live with him. I am ok, but if his behavior is not ok, what is the best way to express this?
Thank you all for any strength, experience and wisdom you can offer.