There are countless ways to conceptualize alcoholism. I tend to be a person who analyzes and thinks about things excessively - which isn't always bad - but trying to psychoanalyze my alcoholism and parse out why I drank never kept me sober.
When I went to my first AA meeting years ago I cried like a baby. Everything I heard from the big book and from others in the rooms made me realize I was in a place where I belonged.
I have come to believe that my alcoholism is caused by a spiritual illness - and the only thing that keeps me sober is working the 12 steps of AA.
Have a blessed day everyone