13 days but struggling
Well it's been tough as all of you relate to. What a hell of time to quit drinking. In those days I had my work Christmas party, 2-3 get togethers at friends, snow skiing, annual golf with my old high school buddies, Christmas and now Disneyland at California Adventure (the one that serves alcohol). I know it kinda sounds funny because all these are fortunate things i get to do in life. Problem is a big reason for my quitting is I got "busted" by my parents for drinking and driving. Word got out through my wife and friends to family that I might having a drinking problem. Then I met my dad at a sporting event 14 days ago to pick up my kids and I was drunk. He called me out. Now family function after family function (my brother and his family are here from out of state) and it's akward. Everyone knows I'am not allowed to drink. I am 42 years old. I'm craving it so much. I made a TERRIBLE mistake. I miss casual drinking a lot. EVERYTHING reminds me of pre-14 days ago. Granted this year there has been about 3 episodes similar to this. Standing in line today at Disneyland- "hey remember last Christmas when ...." all I can think about was when I was allowed to have wine over there. No one batted an eye back then, no one knew. I love the support here on this board but I feel like my case and my drive to quit is more because I have total shame from my family. They aren't trying to, my parents are so nice it's just they are pretty conservative I suppose and it's their way of dealing with it. When I first spoke to my dad two weeks ago (the morning after I showed up drunk) I told him it would be akward if people around the holidays weren't allowed to drink because of me. So even though they are normal drinkers they are busting out their wine glass each time. I notice I get quieter when we have dinner because of this- I wish I could rewind the clock and not have done what i did (driving drunk). This is not easy. I have so many friends who drink fairly heavy but they don't get behind the wheel. I made that mistake.