WD- thankyou for sharing. Being the addict who destroyed my family I will offer no advice. I have agreed to my ex's requests and respectfully left my fam. alone while I keep on growing in recovery, BTW so you know aI am not a complete a-hole (any more). Emotions and rstional thought contradict each other at times. You are grieving something that is no more. Grieving takes time. Stay safe, keep up with getting prof. help. Have you thought of support meetings? As for your children- you will need to be the judge of what you do.
My support and prayers for you all. PJ