jUST FINISHED PART 1 OF COMPLETELY FACING MY PAST- WHICH WILL BE SHOWN TO gpa. I HAVE BEEN RUTHLESS HERE. horrid JOB. kEPT WANTING TO DIVERT- WASH CLOTHES, GO FOR A WALK. I PUSHED MYSELF- WHEN OVERWHELMED FINISHED ONE PAINTING (BIG CANVAS- JUST A 'COS this is how I fee'l (sorry caps-l again).
Also today done a tee shirt- black, simple. Painted 'nohj' on it wonky. Felt ok after that. The difference is looking at my past- instead of living in the moment and feeling paralysed by the crap there- I can observe it, feel acceptance and knowI am moving forward and it can not hurt me anymore. I cannot help my family with this part of their journey, although of crouse I cannot stop thinking about them (especially today/tomorrow) and pray for them Told son when posted my story (2)- I will not contact anymore except COAddress, when it happens. Again acceptance- but not paralysis. In accordance with this significant mindshift, my new avatar is last MP- my space (to be)- positive forward thinking, see.