I will be with my husband's family too. He is one of 8, so always lots of people at the holidays. My mom lives in NY, and I miss seeing her at this time of year, but technology makes that a little easier.
You have quite a bit of sobriety built up, not sure if you have read any of Rachel Black's books, she has written
Sober is the New Black, a friend sent me this link this morning. It was a letter written to alcohol two years into her sobriety. It definitely describes how I have felt in the past.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/...-lover-alcohol
Hope you have a Very Merry Christmas!
❤️Delilah