Originally Posted by Ladybird579

You are spot on and it is exactly what I have done. l told them exah has blighted my life for over 20 years and it stops right now. I acknowledged they are legally adults and how they run their relationship with their dad is up to them. I said he was not coming round to our home anymore, or invited to events outside it I have organised for them. No more pretending to be a happy family. I discussed counselling again and one said he was talking to friends online. The advice he has had so far is sound as he told me what they had said. My autistic son sees no need for any at the moment as he has quietly bowed out of contact with exah a few weeks ago and says he has read up on why his dad is like he is and that is why he decided to stop seeing him as he knows nothing is going to get any better. Followed by "Have we any snacks?"lol

I know I need to stop beating myself up over eldest, especially, being so sad and upset as I am sure exah is hurting both boys to get at me. I think they have realised this for themselves now too.

The weird outcome of this chat was eldest son seems to have needed permission to take control and now he has it he is going too. Me saying I was done with exah seems to have made him realise he can be too if that makes any sense? Thank you