I am amazed at how alcohol messes with our brains. I totally get that one drink leads to more. One relapse leads to more relapses. At first they're further apart and then they become closer together until the days of drinking just all blend together. When I look at it from this perspective, for whatever reason it helps me. To really see your "iizard or drinking" brain just as that. To know that if you add alcohol you're feeding that part of the brain and making it stronger. But if you abstain, you're making the "healthy or normal" part of your brain stronger.