In spite of everything that my stepson's addiction has put the family through, I still love him. He most especially made his sister's life a living he**, and she is not speaking to him but still loves him under it all.
His life, too, is awful...I can't begin to imagine just how awful. But I am not the solution for him. And yes, sometimes the tears come. 'Course I cry all the time right now...I have been walking around the house cradling a hedgehog squeaky toy that I'm sending to my sister for her dog...and crying.
You have been through so much for so long, WTBH. I think it's only natural that as you move forward, there will still be good and bad days. Sending peaceful thoughts your way...