One of my biggest stumbling blocks so far in maintaining my sobriety has been allowing myself to put any emphasis on what others will think of me or have thought of me.. If I do this (recovery thing) because I want to prove something to others, or even if I know I'm getting sober first and foremost for myself, and just consider improving my outward image to be a secondary result of my sobriety, I will be disappointed.. We can drive ourselves insane, or worse relapse (
) in the process of waiting for others to recognize that we've gotten better.
Two reasons, in my mind, that this never works...
1. Nobody but me understands the full scope of this.. Even when I'm among my fellow "battle buddies", other alcoholics, I can't expect to be fully understood, so it's much less likely non-alcoholics will understand me.. because they don't know every detail of my journey or every feeling that is on my heart..and that's okay.
2. We will never understand the hearts of those not struggling with this.. we don't get to make assumptions about what they are thinking or feeling, we just can't know.. we don't know where they've been or how their feelings will evolve.. we can't rush their journey to accept us any more than we can rush our journey to recovery.. everyone feels differently about this and that is okay, too.