I suspect Doug there is an alcohol issue there, perhaps not quite like mine, but most people I know don't care if I drink or not. I think its important because I think she is attached to alcohol in her own way.
So today is Day 55. Last night I had to go to a staff party and for a moment or two I considered having a drink. But unlike other times in my life, the urge wasn't crazy, and even my husband said he wouldn't be upset if I did and he had one, yet it didn't sway me. In the past I think I was quitting for other people and his "permission" would have set me running to the bar. Instead I thought of how I would regret that decision.
I was thinking today that the world is coming back into color for me.
What I mean, is that while I was drinking, it felt like everything was supplementary to my drinking..that life didn't have much colour or meaning if there was no booze in it. Now I wake up and look forward to things, I feel happy emotions (as well as some sad and angry ones too I admit). I feel like the world I once knew is back for me. I didn't realize I was missing it until I quit. And now I realize that the world was only secondary to my drinking, because my drinking had stripped everything else away. Everything was just a shell of itself and booze was the only interesting thing left. But now that I don't let that poison into my daily life, the world has sprung back. I don't know if that makes any sense or not...