I guess the real question I have... is how do you get closure over a situation where you don't have all the details and your actions were motivated by.. what seem now to be largely made up details? It was all speculation, I decided to believe what I wanted to believe at the time and acted impulsively and I can't take back what I did, and I can't even find out if my actions were appropriate to the situation... Was I possibly acting more appropriate before I got sober?