There's always hope. If there wasn't, I wouldn't be here today.
I had so, so many days ones. Too many to count. I tried so had to stop drinking, also, to rid myself of toxic relationships that were helping and giving me a reason to drink.
It took a lot of soul searching to stop, along with all the other horrors of my drinking that I won't go into.
I finely came here and went to AA.
I found hope, and believe me, I was a bad drunk.
Welcome to the site. You'll find support here. Maybe try AA?
You can stop, just don't give up hope.
Best to you.