i averaged 15-20 a night and i had a rule no drinking till after 5pm but i dunno the last 6 months or so i was drinking at noon or 3 or 4 pm just trying to get the edge off. And i REALLY wanted to drink all day long but I had 2 problems with that I was not sure if ic ould hold down my job but the bigger issue was I new I could not afford that level of consumption I was in a really tough bind I was pricing various ways to get my boooze cheaper so that I could however and was concocting a plan to do so.
After I sobered up and read at places here I realized a lot of what iw as dealing with between 3am-5pm was withdrawels. I learned that if I would have just kept drinking I could have avoided those. This scares me because if I ever relapse I know all day long drinking will be the magical solution for my AV to avoid those crummy sober hours that I had back then.
There is hope however. People sober up every day etc..