you aren't dumb, you just didn't KNOW. you are a kind, decent, loving person who chooses to see the good in people. and he was good at hiding his real self. the classic wolf in sheep's clothing.
maaaaaaybe you had a teensy weensy bit of denial. who hasn't?
the beautiful thing is that TODAY you have eyes wide open. you are strong and getting stronger. you are able to find humor in some of his antics, instead of being crushed and curled up in the fetal position. you are learning not to take it personal. it's just what he does.
maybe when you go on this lovely vacation to somewhere warm, you can take some memento of what WAS with you AH, or a goodbye letter, or a good ole p!ss off letter, and bury it there somewhere in the sand, or launched way out to sea, and be FREE of it, once and for all?