paulokes

My friendships have definitely changed since I stopped drinking. I find I am less concerned with some surface relationships I used to try to maintain, I am drawn to different types of friendship and I am far less inclined to maintain friendships that have an element of drama or 'hard work'. That's probably the opposite of how things used to be...FOR ME, looking back the friendships I was most drawn to probably had the highest degree of emotional drama.

As for the other specific question, I became involved in an affair when I was 26 or so. The other person was involved, I was not. The drank heavily so did I. I was adamant for some time that, though there was some chemistry I would not go there. One night I got very drunk and instigated something that became very messy.

There were children involved (hers) and it eventually became the catalyst for the breakdown of her marriage...when we were caught.

This was something I promised myself I would never do. It was very important to me...partly because of my family and what happened in my own early years. So when I drunkenly crossed that line I had to do a little. ..Moral rearrangement I my head.

Without doubt this was a catalyst in my own drinking, things took a turn for the worse and I dined out on the guilt for some time. Though drink itself was one of the primary causes too.

I have more of a conscience now I'm sober. No saint me, but I find I am able to get away with less when I am not drinking to stuff down the emotional consequences. And that's what matters...if I'm sober I can make rational decisions about what kind of life I want to lead...if I make a mistake I can deal with it and I don't make things worse.

Not sure what your own circumstances are but for sure you can make better choices about your friendships if you know for certain that drink is not a factor.

P