Hi Blankspace, you're not alone, in fact many of the people on these pages developed drinking problems in the same gradual social context as you. Some people never think about it, but others like you understand that you're living an unhealthy lifestyle and it's getting worse.
I gradually built up to a bottle of wine a day, had a few periods of successful moderation, but always increased until I was worse than when I started. I had to give up drinking altogether because I knew it was the only way; moderation was too hard. I drank moderately for many years, but once you've crossed the line into problem drinking it's very hard to go back. Too hard.
I've found many positives in being sober (4+ years) and one of the greatest one is that I can now relax about the harm and shame of drinking too much. When I'm dining out I'm not secretly following the bottle around the table hoping it gets to me soon, or dying for work to end so I can go home and drink. Well I do have a cup of tea.
I suggest you read up as much as you can on alcoholism and it's effects on health. That's pretty scary. Maybe have a chat to your doctor. Have a think about where you want to be in 5 years. If you're not ready to stop this moment, at least entertain the idea, get used to it.
I also found SR to be a huge support in staying sober. There are many stories of the misery caused by alcoholism, and also lives turned around and relationships healed.