Originally Posted by
SulfuricSplash 
You guys have probably seen it before. I just was SO arrogant and above it all! Skipping meetings for months on end. Judging others. Especially my ex-bf. The whole time I was just projecting my own demons, because I knew a relapse was coming. Its true if you are not working your program you are working on your relapse. I let my disease talk me into a pity party how quickly my ego gave in. And now I'm back here counting days! ..Day 1. I just want the fog to clear.
Not only have we seen it before, we've done it before. Some of us many, many times. That doesn't excuse it of course but it helps to frame it and acknowledge it for what it really is.
Day 1 is rough to be certain but one of the absolute certainties about withdrawals is that they always end. And if you truly decide to accept your addiction for what it is, you never have to go through this ever again. I'm glad you've come back here seeking help.