Originally Posted by
AnvilheadII 
the sad experience of your BIL's death, followed by your AH's chosen response - to DRINK - has "taught" you to fear not only the outcome of the drinking, but what you see as the catalyst for that.
when in reality, your AH can and has drank on MANY other days, for a multitude of other excuses....um, i mean, reasons.
you could have the same fear over Tuesdays, football, weather forecasts, or a missed newspaper delivery.
^^This right here - this is what I had to remind myself of today. That no matter the circumstance when he made excuses to drink he did so for whatever reason. A conversation from a Halloween night long ago, "Why did you drink today?" His answer - "I don't know, it's Halloween" (yes that was his answer to my dad.... insert eye roll).
Even though I thought it, thanks for reminding me that any day for any reason if and when he wants to drink he can or he can choose not to drink. At the end of the day I need to make peace with myself this would be his choice.....