Oh how I can relate. Long story short, I am currently not speaking to/interacting with my son's "fiancé". I have made it clear to my son that I will no longer respond to her texts or messages as I have "nothing to say". My son is struggling right now (with a slip that's turned into a relapse), but I have set some boundaries in that we will no longer be a revolving door for him to move back home for a day or two, only to return to her within 24-48 hours. every single time! So.....that being said - after years of dealing with his addiction and rehab/recovery/relapse, a TON of harsh words have been said. Including from my own mouth. Don't be so hard on yourself. this is TOUGH stuff we are trying to deal with and it HURTS! We feel so powerless and want to grab them and shake some sense into them. If only! No wonder we get angry and frustrated. Be kind to yourself. You are human, you have feelings, you are imperfect. We ALL are.........Many of these types of situations have happened with my son over the years and I can assure you that things settle down over time (as far as the anger goes) and that you are unlikely to scare him away.....he needs you too much, whether he wants to admit it or not....... Hugs!