So things are okay I guess. AH is still voluntarily checked into his rehab program and made over 20 meetings in a week. He sounds well over the phone. He has been asked to read a couple of times in a few of the meetings. He shares a little but mostly listens. He mentioned to me he and another guy will attend a meeting this evening that are mostly business men because he is wanting to network himself since he is looking for a job. I couldn't believe what I was hearing - my AH wants to network himself for a job at an AA meeting!!??? Is this for real?
Another thing he said was he is so relieved to finally stop lying to himself. He said lying to me and the kids was "easy" because we knew he was lying but knowing that he was lying to himself was eating him alive until he finally admitted he was powerless and was ready to surrender and no longer fight it any longer. I've never heard him say things like this either - maybe he just might be serious this time.
So I have also been working on my recovery - reading my literature each day. I am excited about going to my new meeting this Tuesday. I might even have the courage to share. The kids are singing and smiling and the house is quiet. I mean we have the normal daily stuff but the atmosphere is light and I find myself lightening up a bit as well. A little more relaxed, if you will.
Most of you know he is unemployed and I am struggling with being the sole provider. So remember my "good egg" neighbor? Well he showed up today and handed me a gift card, as he does each year, but he tells me "Merry Christmas, this is for the kids. Make sure you take care of them this Christmas because I know this had been a hard year for all of you". I thanked him and he left and was on his way. I checked the balance on the card and it was $100 - I burst into tears. He practically bought my kids their Christmas gifts. What a blessing....
I know we are all in different places in our lives but I am so overwhelmed with his generosity that I would hope each of you can take a moment and count the small blessings in your life today, no matter what your situation.
Much love my friends
