When my friend's father was alive, everybody thought he was a bit of a control freak because he never let his wife spend money. Fast forward several months later after his death. A shop clerk and then a bank teller took my friend aside and told her to watch her mother's finances. I also started hearing jokes about "that lady who spends hours at the deli buying scratch tickets" on FB. Yep, you guessed it... she was spending hundreds of dollars a day on those things.
Atul Gawande, in his book "Being Mortal'", spent some time discussing eldercare. He pointed out that many of the facilities are marketed toward the children of potential residents, not the actual residents themselves. Children want safety. Parents want independence. Ay, there's the rub.