Oh, I'm in contact with the Assisted Living staff. I talked to Dad's assigned nurse this week and she is calling me back this weekend to try to strategize how to get him out of the house once in a while. I'm also going to have a serious talk with my stepmom about whether she wants to hasten his decline by just passively letting him sit in his chair all day every day.
I'm not really worried about the spending getting out of control. I can monitor their bank accounts online, and I can see copies of every check they write. I know my stepmom isn't wild about that, lol, but I've caught some major problems in their finances and spent hours and hours on the phone getting back money that was owed to them by companies that overbilled them, and she LIKES that. So my nosiness is something she sort of has to put up with for the sake of the other help. And she does express her appreciation for it.
This is a woman who had NO CLUE about ANY of their finances but I've been working hard to educate her. I don't expect her to be a whiz at this stage of her life but she does need to know what they have and where it goes, in at least a general way. I had to give her lessons on how to use an ATM. It's best that she learn some of this stuff now--it will be harder later as my dad continues to decline.
I'm truly thankful, though, that they are now living where there is help right down the hall if they need it. My dad never wanted to use his emergency alert pendent when they lived alone because the ambulance arrival embarrassed him. He uses it here, and friendly staff hurry over to see what he needs. Much less fuss.
My brother has been helping out with details when things get to be too much for me, and I feel like he's got my back when I need it. He's a good guy, but he's got a lot on his plate career-wise at the moment, and I try to call on him only when I need him. But he's great at helping us communicate consistent messages to them, and he's always willing to help me think through strategies. He gave me some great advice on how to approach certain issues.
I just needed to vent a bit. We're actually very fortunate when I see what some families are faced with. This is really not that big a deal. Getting through the sale of the house and disposition of the proceeds was a big stressor but we're coming out on the other side with everyone pretty much intact.
