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Old 12-08-2016, 06:03 PM
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LexieCat
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
They aren't trying to minimize estate taxes (their estate isn't large enough to worry about)--it's more a feeling that they just got a big chunk of cash and I personally think she wants to help the one son's family but felt she needed to be "fair" and give the same amount to everyone (which is what really bothered me the most, I think). The gift, if they give one, would replace the regular monthly "help," according to stepmom.

We are all in our 50s or 60s, not little kids who have to make sure one sibling doesn't get a bigger present than the other. It's just all been sort of awkward because I don't know their family dynamics. Apparently my stepmom's ex was not a great guy (not sure what all his issues were) so maybe she's still affected by that to some extent--who knows.

All I can say is thank goodness everyone has been behaving like a grownup through all this so far.

And yes, this place will step you up to higher levels of care as needed. They are at the most basic "assisted" living, but one thing that drives me nuts is that my dad, who is paying for all these services, won't use most of them because he thinks he doesn't need them. And my stepmom, who's sort of passive aggressive in some ways, will just go along with whatever he says, even though he is now doing nothing but sitting in their apartment. He needs to go out, at least to the dining area, to interact with other residents. Instead, he sits in apartment and has my stepmom bring back his meals for him.

*sigh* Wish I lived closer. I'm going for a short visit in Feb., but they are in such an out of the way place that it takes all day to travel to or from, from where I live.
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