I've just reread the previous couple of pages of post on here., wow, there is alot to take in. I won't pretend that I understand everything 100% because I do not. I lack the experience to have a serious subjective view. However, what has been said is thought provoking and educational, and will prove to be more so as time passes and I read through them again. These posts are a real pleasure to read too, apart from the insights being given, they're also beautifully written. Thankyou.
My beast has had a strong desire to drink since I made my BP. Today, on my way home from work I walked past a 'respectable' drinking establishment, it looked very inviting to my beast, with all the pretty Xmas lights and its festive glow. IT said " you could have a nice relaxing glass of wine in there, doesn't it look cosy and warm". I aknowledged this thought, said NEVER I don't drink, to which IT replied " how about an Irish coffee then that's not really alcohol," the image came into my mind, again I acknowledged/ recognised this and the thought evaporated. I continued my walk home completley unperturbed by this encounter. How cool is that! Before AVRT I would have been grappling with that thought all evening and would have eventually given in to the AV because I wasn't aware of what I was dealing with. I've had a lot of these encounters over the last few days and I've used AVRT and my BP to deal with them.
One other thing I wanted to say is that during a conversation with my therapist, shortly before I discovered AVRT, we were talking about relapse prevention...ringing someone, grounding techniques, urge surfing, I turned to her and said " look, I am a very willfull person and if I want to have a drink I will have one, nothing or nobody will be able to stop me". ( this had been my experience) At the time I truly believed that that was me, my thinking, that I was pretty much screwed with that attitude! I remember the force with which those words came out of my mouth...it scared me. IT dosent scare me anymore because I know what IT is.